How to Handle Difficult People: Lessons from 30+ Years in Recruitment

How to Handle Difficult People: Lessons from 30+ Years in Recruitment

Over the last three decades, I’ve worked with thousands of people from all walks of life—candidates, clients, colleagues, and even competitors. If there’s one constant I’ve learned in business and life, it’s this: dealing with difficult people is unavoidable. Whether it’s in the boardroom or the kitchen table, we all face individuals who push our buttons, drain our energy, or challenge our boundaries.

But here’s the thing—how you handle those situations can make all the difference. It’s not about changing them; it’s about protecting your peace, maintaining your professionalism, and staying true to yourself. Let me share some lessons I’ve learned through years of hard-earned experience.

1. Stop Justifying Yourself

Difficult people often have a way of making you feel like you need to explain your every move to them—as if your choices need their stamp of approval. Let me be clear: you don’t owe anyone a justification for doing what’s right for you.

I’ve seen this play out countless times in recruitment. For example, when candidates choose to leave toxic workplaces, they often feel the need to justify their decision to employers, colleagues, or even family members. My advice is simple: don’t. You can say, "I know this was the best choice for me." That’s it. No debate, no second-guessing, no validation required.

The moment you stop justifying yourself, you take back control of your narrative.

2. Don’t Engage in Arguments

Difficult people thrive on drama. They want to pull you into an argument, twist your words, and make you doubt yourself. Trust me, I’ve had my fair share of heated discussions with clients or candidates who were determined to be combative.

The best approach? Don’t take the bait. Acknowledge their perspective and disengage. Try saying, "I see what you’re saying. Let’s agree to disagree and move on." This phrase is like kryptonite to argumentative people because it shuts down their need to win.

Remember, an argument isn’t a competition you need to win—it’s a trap you’re better off avoiding.

3. Stop Defending Yourself

Here’s the harsh truth: some people will never see your point of view, no matter how logical, reasonable, or valid your position may be. Difficult people are often more interested in criticising or controlling you than understanding you.

Instead of getting roped into endless debates, let go of the need to prove your point. Say something like, "I’ve thought about this extensively, and I don’t need to discuss it further."

This isn’t about being dismissive—it’s about valuing your time and energy. You don’t need everyone to agree with you to know you’re making the right decision.

4. Stop Explaining Yourself

If I had a pound for every time someone tried to pick apart a decision I’d already explained, I’d be writing this blog from a private island! Difficult people will often criticise your choices and demand you explain yourself over and over, hoping to wear you down.

Here’s what I’ve learned: once is enough. If you’ve explained yourself clearly before, there’s no need to do it again. You can say, "I’ve explained this before, and I need you to respect my decision. This isn’t up for discussion."

You’re not being rude or unkind—you’re setting a boundary. Difficult people rarely respect boundaries unless you enforce them.

Final Thoughts

Dealing with difficult people isn’t easy, but it’s a skill you can master with practice. It starts with understanding that you don’t owe anyone a justification, an argument, a defence, or an explanation for your choices.

In my 30+ years, I’ve seen how empowering these strategies can be. Candidates who once felt powerless in toxic workplaces learned to walk away with confidence. Consultants who struggled with demanding clients discovered how to maintain their professionalism without sacrificing their self-worth.

The key is to stay calm, stay clear, and most importantly, stay true to yourself. You’ll find that the more you focus on protecting your peace, the less influence difficult people will have over your life.

At Inspired Recruitment, we’re committed to helping you navigate not just your career but also the challenges that come with it. Difficult people are a part of the journey, but with the right mindset and strategies, you can rise above them and thrive.

Let’s face challenges together—the Inspired way.

 Mark Goode

CEO Inspired Recruitment

Mark Goode is the CEO of The Inspired Recruitment Group which originated with the inception of Inspired Selections a recruitment agency primarily focused on recruitment in the optical industry before branching out into audiology and pharmaceutical recruitment. New optical opportunities are featured daily here or if you're a business, looking for help with your recruitment needs, get in touch here