Is the word “toxic” being abused?

Is the word “toxic” being abused?

You can’t turn a corner today without hearing the word toxic, toxic workplace, toxic management, toxic company, toxic colleagues, toxic relationships. Everywhere, everyone is in some kind of toxic situation. But are they really? 

I have been involved in the recruitment industry for almost 30 years, and in the past, situations like companies not offering an early finish on a Friday was just that “no early finish on a Friday” but now it’s “I work for a toxic, uncaring, money grabbing horrid company and its effecting my mental health” oh my god, what have they done? “They make me work all day on a Friday, they have given me targets, and you won’t believe this, they hold me accountable to these targets, why would anyone want to work in such a hostile and toxic workplace”

I even feel that some Recruitment Agencies are actually promoting this toxic message, the more people that feel accountability is toxic, the more people come to us” type of attitude and this is where the problem is six months later they will place them again, new fee every six months” “it’s like the gift that keeps giving” to some people.

The issue is that in the past we didn’t get everything we wanted within minutes if not seconds. 

You can get an Uber within 3 minutes, that same Uber driver can drive you, feed you, and shop for you.

You can choose almost any film you want and within 1 minute you can watch it without ever leaving your house, in fact you can now stream a film before it’s even released at the cinema.

You can use Ai, and you don’t have to sit there writing any reports, you can even get Ai to make all your work-related calls for you and then get a bod to answer all the questions 

So, when you can have someone else do so much for you, why would anyone possibly ask you to be accountable for anything, that’s just so toxic…

Before anyone jumps up and says “toxic environment means bullying, ghosting, discrimination, and mental abuse” I totally agree and I am 100% behind changing the way the world works in these areas, for example Inspired spends a considerable amount of time and money working with our candidates and clients about mindset, confidence and self-esteem. 

There are potential clients we refuse to work with because we don’t feel their values match ours, and there are candidates who we won’t register or represent because of their negative views.

But, and I hate to say it’s a big but, we must start trying to educate the next batch of adults (our easily offended children) that in the real world people will say things they regret, they will do things that at the time aren’t in line with their values, and companies will always need to look to make a profit if they want to stay in business (and continue to pay their salaries) 

You can read 1,000’s of posts on LinkedIn, all highlighting horrible things their employers, manager’s, colleagues and even customers do to them and yes, some of these are indeed really hurtful, and as I said, we often pick up the pieces of such behaviour and work with them on their mindset before we can even start trying to find them a better place to work.

But, when I read posts like I did last week, which went along the lines of:

“I worked really hard, I put extra hours in, I kept my head down, I made lots of sales for my employer and they didn’t thank me enough, and they never recognised how valuable I was”

As a result of this highly ‘toxic’ environment, I was forced (I mean what choice did I have) to copy the database, set up in direct competition, and undercut my ex-employer (because I knew their intellectual property)

The really sad part was the number of likes, and comments saying “well done, how dare that horrible employer who trained you, gave you an opportunity to be successful and most likely paid you during the months you didn’t cover your salary be so toxic”

There were very few (if any) that said “so, if I understand you right, you committed possible fraud, you almost certainly broke every GDPR law in the book and you stole the intellectual property from your employer. 

No, the majority said “thank god you got out of that ‘toxic’ environment, you poor soul 

I have no issue with holding up my hand and saying there are many times I wish I could turn back the clock and deal with things differently, for many years building the different business to the level they are at now, took priority and peoples wellbeing was not my top concern at the time, it’s only now when I look back and realise that my determination to turn my ideas into million pound businesses also resulted in me forgetting my core values about helping others. I lost good people along the way and if I am honest I lost my way along the way. So, trust me when I say I know there were times I fell into the ‘toxic’ trap.

What’s the answer?

Employers need to pause sometimes, and remember business is about people, I believe that all adults are just children who are now in a bigger body. As we all know, as children, we just want to feel loved, feel safe and feel we have voice.  

The answer is simple “talk” to each other, not as employer and employee but as people, especially people who deep down just want love, safety and to be heard (and that includes the boss you call toxic) 

Next time someone does not agree with you, does not recognise your efforts, or says something you consider to be hurtful, instead of destroying your relationship with them by simply using the word “toxic” why not try to understand ‘why’ and stop to think “how can I resolve this issue but also respect the other person’s situation” (including what might be going on personally in their life you don’t know about)

Just as importantly, stop using ‘toxic’ as an excuse to cover up your own mistakes or bad behaviour. Two wrongs don’t make a right.

I want to finish on a personal note, “make sure you know all the facts before you pass judgement” If I had a pound for every time I only listened to one side, or I passed judgment on what I read (including on here) then I would be very rich, before commenting and just blindly ignoring any actual evidence just think “there might be two sides to this, and I only have their version”

Have a great day

 Mark Goode

CEO Inspired Recruitment

Mark Goode is the CEO of The Inspired Recruitment Group which originated with the inception of Inspired Selections a recruitment agency primarily focused on recruitment in the optical industry before branching out into audiology and pharmaceutical recruitment. New optical opportunities are featured daily here or if you're a business, looking for help with your recruitment needs, get in touch here